Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Storytelling for Week 11: Milk to Salt

Before the ocean was made of salt, it provided the earth with the creamiest, most refreshing potion known as milk. This potion was worthy of drinking, and so, people would come from all over the land to see and taste this magnificent beverage. It smelled sweet, and looked like a soft blanket of snow like you would see at the top of the mountains where no one has ever walked before. The people had never tasted anything like it! The desire for more made them come back day after day. 

One day, Narayana, an incarnated version of Vishnu, came to the milk sea and shouted to the gods, "Churn the ocean! Unearth the nectar of immorality for me!"

And so, the gods began. They placed the mountain Mandara in the middle. Mandara is the snow mountain, and it is far taller then the sea's depths. Therefore, the milk and snow on the part of the mountain that was visible blended together seamlessly. It was hard to tell the two landscapes apart from one another. However, no one nearby saw this spectacle as the sound of the commotion had pierced their ears, and everyone was hunched over with their fingers in their ears for protection. 

Then abruptly, the great serpent, Sesha, wrapped himself around the mountain and stretched the length of the mountain so that he could be used to churn the ocean. At this moment, Sesha looked like an octopus stretched out to be used in a grand tug-a-war match, good versus evil! Holding onto Sesha's tail were the Asuras which are the unusual-looking, immoral gods. Grabbing onto Sesha's neck were the devas who are the mortal gods including Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu. Each side took turns pulling back and forth causing the mountain to spin in opposite directions, and of course, messing up the perfect snow on the mountain and throwing boulders into the, now, bubbling milk.


(Image Source: Churning the Milk Sea)

At this, glorious creatures began emerging from the frothing ocean. First, the crescent Moon appeared. Then, to list some of the most notable creatures, Indra's white elephant, Airavata, Surabhi, the white cow who grants wishes, and finally Dhanwantari, the physician robed in white carrying a cup full of amrita, which was the essence of life. 

Narayana screeched with excitement, "At last! I will live forever! This treasure is mine." He had now begun doing his happy dance like a little school girl. Narayana, or Vishnu, was so excited! He proclaimed again, "Thank you, gods. Thank you!"

In the meantime, with all the commotion in the sea from the churning, the sea shot poison up into the air turning the milk into salt water. Milk is a drink that sustains life, and salt water is a drink that destroys it. This was devastating to the people watching.

While the gods were busy elsewhere, the poison shot up into the sky and was going to land all over the worlds. This would instantaneously kill anything that came in contact with it. Miraculously, out of nowhere, Shiva, The Lord of the Mountains and Songs, came flying in to gather all the poison into his mouth in order to swallow it. With this, Shiva saved the worlds. He was a hero!

Unfortunately, the poison was lodged in his airways and his face turned blue. He grabbed the crescent moon that had just emerged from the milk sea and placed it in his hair. With this, Narayana became a woman named Mohini. The cresent moon became a hair jewel for her, and Mohini seduced and confused the asuras who were trying to steal the cup full of amrita. Thankfully though, Mohini succeeded at bringing the devas the armita before the asuras could took it for themselves.       

Author's note: I wrote this tale because I like the significance of the churning of the ocean in Hindu mythology. Also, while writing, I felt like I was able to better understand the events that were happening which helped me to realize why this tale would hold that kind of importance. The beauty of the white milky sea was important in this tale because it is sacrificed in order to bring Vishnu amrita, the essence of life. It is interesting to me that the "dark" gods are pulling against the "mortal" gods like tug-a-war in order to bring Vishnu what he wants. This is very symbolic about the meaning of asking for amrita. When the milk sea began to bring out the glorious creatures, I only named the white creatures that appeared to emphasize the significance of the color white in the story such as, the milk, the elephant, the cow, and the robe. White symbolizes purity so I thought it held a lot of meaning in this tale as the sea was once pure, but now it has been used as a sacrifice and turned into salt water. However, salt is still white. How ironic! I chose this picture because it helps to vividly visualize the event of churning the ocean along with the creatures that surfaced from the ocean during the scene as well. 

Bibliography:  

  • Buck, William (1973). Mahabharata          

10 comments:

  1. I was excited to read another re-telling of this story, because I also used this story in my storybook project!

    In the first paragraph, I would say "the ocean was" instead of "were" or change "ocean" to "oceans".

    I liked how you really emphasized the delectability of the milk ocean--it does sounds appealing.

    In the second paragraph I would say that Narayana was an incarnation of Vishnu, for concision.

    In the second sentence of the fourth paragraph, I would remove the comma after "Sesha". Also in that paragraph, you describe the Asuras as "immoral" gods and the Devas as "mortal". I'm guessing you meant that the Devas are moral gods? And in the last sentence of that paragraph, I would say "now-bubbling".

    Your descriptions are great, and really call the scene of churning the milk ocean into the mind's eye.

    In the first paragraph after the image, I would change the comma after amrita to "--" to remove the comma splice.
    In the next paragraph, Narayana says "Alas!", which is an expression of grief or pity, so perhaps it would be better to replace that with "At last" or "By the Devas," or something else that expresses joy and excitement. Also you left out an "a" in "Narayana" towards the end of that paragraph.

    In the third paragraph from the image you have a fragment which can easily be turned into a sentence by removing the word "being" from each part of the sentence and replacing it with "is" or something to that effect.

    In the next paragraph I would put "and" after the comma following "elsewhere" to fix the comma splice.

    In the last paragraph, I would turn "He placed" into "He seized," for better sentence structure.

    This is a very interesting retelling, as I had not read this version of the story before, and was delighted to read a different version. Narayana is a female now? I want to know more! Lol.
    You did a great job playing out each scene processionally and there is a good amount of detail in each scene, making this story very pleasant to read and easy to envision.








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  2. Hello again!
    Super interesting story! I enjoyed reading it and seeing how you put your own personal spin on things. The picture you chose is a pretty classis picture portraying the original story, so it still fits your own version very well. I had one small correction I noticed and I thought you might want to consider it. “First, the Asuras, the immoral gods, held one end while the devas, the mortal gods, held his neck.” You wrote “immoral” and “mortal”, but I did not really understand this comparison. Did you mean “immortal” and “mortal”? Or “immoral” and “moral”?

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  3. Hi Rachelle!

    This was an interesting story. To me, it seems like a lot was sacrificed for Narayana to have immortal life, and while he did thank the gods, he didn't seem to feel very bad for ruining the milky sea and poisoning Shiva. Just curious, is being turned into a woman supposed to be a punishment? Or is it just a result of what happened?

    I enjoyed the detail you put into the story. In this instance, creating the image was very important and probably a difficult task. But you handled it well. The picture was also very helpful in picturing what exactly they were doing! Haha sometimes, in a situation like that one, it can be difficult to imagine the characters and actions. Thank you for including that!

    I think someone else already pointed this out, but in your opening sentence your verb does not match in number with your subject. You would either have "the ocean was" or "the oceans were".

    "...a reincarnated version of Vishnu..." - this sounds a little awkward. Perhaps you could say "a reincarnation of Vishnu"

    "At this moment, Sesha, looked like an octopus stretched out to be used in a grand tug-a-war match, good versus evil!" - there doesn't need to be a comma after Sesha. Also, I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here. I think it's just a metaphor to help us picture the scene?

    "...into the, now, bubbling milk" - I don't believe you need the commas before and after "now"

    "At this, glorious creatures began emerging from the frothing ocean." - This sentence could do without "at this" at the beginning.

    "... amrita, this was the essence of life." - if you're saying that the amrita is the essence of life, then it should say "...amrita, which was the essence of life".




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  4. There are a few grammatical errors in here (which is not bad since this is before you have had a chance to do week 12 revisions). In the first sentence I think the word "ocean" is supposed to be plural, or the word "were" should be "was". The second sentence needs to be broken into two sentences I think, rather than one long sentence. I think it is a comma splice (though I am no expert). It would be nice if you gave us some background about what made Narayana think that this ocean could make him an immortality potion. I had never read this story so I am not sure if this information was in the original, but if it was not in the original then maybe you could have made something up, some reason as to why this ocean is going to provide immortality. It would also have been good to know why poison was shot out.

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  5. Hello Rachelle! The story was great ! I love how you described things in detail. The story contained various imagery.While I was reading the story, I was able to picture almost every scene. There were some grammatical error here and there, but overall, it was a great story! I enjoyed reading this portion of the story too! I thought it was cool how water turned into milk. Interesting story!

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  6. Hey Rachelle!
    I really liked your version of this story because it was very detailed and well written. The way you described milk made me want to drink so milk! It sounds very appealing with your description. I noted a few things that I would fix, but nothing major.
    In the second paragraph, I would say that “Narayana was an incarnation of Vishnu”. It’s more concise and clear to the reader when it’s written in simplest terms sometimes.
    I really like your word choice because it adds to the imagery you incorporate in your writing. The images I get in my head are very vivid and seem as if they look exactly how you describe them with your own words.
    Other than that, the other errors I noticed were mentioned by previous commenters so please do look into those because they would definitely make your writing flawless. Great job otherwise!

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  7. I really enjoyed this story! It was a little strange of a concept (churning milk) but it is so interesting to the Indian mythology. The way that the milk was so sustaining and important and the gods paid no attention as they ruined this beautiful thing and turned it into poison. It’s quite a sad situation!
    An issue that I saw within your reading was the line that read “First, the Asuras, the immortal gods, held…”
    This sentence would flow better as “First, the Asuras (the immortal gods) held…” The parenthesis makes this aside more obvious as an afterthought or explanation and not as much an actual part of the story itself.
    The other readers caught other grammatical and punctuation errors in your story so I will leave it at that.
    The description was so wonderful. Your story really painted a picture of what happened in the original story. With a little editing your story will be absolutely perfect.

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  8. Hi Rachelle.
    I really love this story in the book. I think this take on how the ocean came to be is quite fascinating. I like how descriptive you are in your introduction paragraph. It makes me want a glass of milk! I like the dialogue you chose for Narayana. It was very powerful and pretty epic. What an awesome tug of war match! Narayana’s happy dance made me laugh. Good idea Rachelle! Shiva was a pretty cool dude to swallow all that poison. I found a small error in your last paragraph. “He placed the crescent moon that had just emerged from the milk sea and placed it in his hair.” Maybe you could find a replacement for the first “placed”. It just sounds a little funny.
    Great job on this story Rachelle! I can tell you spent a lot of time on this one and it turned out so well.

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  9. Hey Rachelle! You have written a pretty interesting story here. There was a lot of detail put into your story which made it easier for me to actually picture the story in my head. The image you included in the story also helped with that. I have seen that image before and it definitely goes with your story. I can only imagine what it must be like to see a sea of milk. Must have been pretty awesome! I’m kind of craving milk now haha. I like that you took the original story and put your own spin to it. The spacing of the paragraphs were great because it helped me read the story more easily. As previously mentioned there’s a few grammatical errors but your story was still great regardless. I can tell you put a lot of effort into writing this, so great job! Good luck with the rest of your semester, Rachelle!

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  10. Rachelle,
    What a wonderful story! You have a great writing style. Your story was very neatly written and organized which made it that much better to read! I was unfamiliar with the story, so your author's note was a lifesaver! You did a great job describing the original story, and the changes you made. I am glad I got a chance to read this. It was interesting that it was a fight of good vs. evil. I agree with you that there is some semblance between the white milk and the white salt. Both are white which equals purity. Then again salt water does not sustain life like milk which also makes them opposites.

    Overall, I think your story was great. You can tell that you proof read your story and took time to make corrections. Can't wait to see what comes next in your portfolio. Good job!

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